My life had become dull and lifeless.. Missing him was the only thing I now knew.. I looked beside me. i could see him..smiling..laughing and slowly moving to his knees and addressing me as the love of his life… I could see me as well..refusing with hatred and walking out of this very own rose park… i imagined the scenes after I left him..i could see his face bury with shame and tears..i could feel the commotion, the burn he felt.. i closed my eyes and tears rolled down my warm cheeks..i reopened them.. numerous tears landed on my neck streaming from my cheeks.. I looked at my right on the green bench..no one was there.. i took a deep breath..it was winter season..i sat on a bench in the rose park .. Millions and thousands of roses bloomed and faces filled with delight except my own face for the obvious reason u see.. i lost my angel in a fit of popularity.. all the roses bloomed except my rose.. i opened my book “The pride and the prejudice ”.his favorite book and took out the dried rose I kept in it..it was his rose..he left it for me with the note of forgiveness and love addressed to me. I stood up and walked back to my home. I had no friends now as I didn’t deserve any and no family of my own as my parents died in a car accident when I was 8 ..i lived with my Aunt but I had left her 2 years ago after he left me. These 2 years I worked in my Bhaiya’s office. the very place he worked to earn money for his unwell mother , but it made the pain worse so I decided a week ago that I would leave the job for good . I searched for a new job the whole week and stumbled upon a college lecturer’s post in a highly admired college. off course had no intention of making money or respect but my brother always wanted me to have a good job for myself and he had himself helped me yearn it.. but he knew none of the deeds I had done with my angel and not the actual reason for the leaving a high post seat of his office. I glanced at the clock as I came inside my house..7.35PM..it showed. I wasn’t much hungry .. i never really am anymore so I marched down to my bedroom .i jumped up on my bed and laid down still wearing my shoes.. i pressed my hands to my forehead which ached very badly .i pulled on a sheet and turned of the light . i thought of sleeping but sleep depriveness was usual these days thus I stared blankly at my walls and his memories lured me into sleep by an hour or so later . i woke up in the morning by 7.30 AM and slipped out of my bed..i took out a sky blue suit to wear ..the kind I wore everyday as he loved to see me in traditional clothes and headed towards the bathroom.. after 30 minutes of human moments in the washroom I got down for breakfast which was always a glass of white milk..i got out of the house by 8.30 AM.I arrived at the college premises in 30 more minutes that is by 9.00 AM.I read the board on the gate , it was blue in color and curved in shape. excel it read .I entered the college ,I saw students in every corner playing with each other . it reminded me of us how we had fun in our college premises and how he used to help me bunk classes and retrieve class work afterwards .I tried to push way those thoughts and entered the college building.. it was painted sunny yellow and sky blue . i took a few lefts and rights and stumbled upon a door with a shiny plate that held the letters “The Detention Room”. It again pushed forward more thoughts of our life together . which I again had to strive hard to push aside. A student passed by me..i looked at him..he seemed lost as well .he had 3 batches on his shirt which forced me to guess that he was well accomplished and sincere student . Not knowing any other way of reaching the principal’s office I hurriedly walked to reach him and patted his shoulder, Excuse me he turned around slowly. I could clearly see the sogginess on his face. he looked as defeated as I was . Yes Ma’am how can I help ? Where can I find the principal’s office I asked with a shaky voice in the end of this passage turn right and go up the steps u will find the principal’s door on first left. Do u mind leaving me there he agreed with a nod..we walked silently till the end and took a right while climbing up the steps he asked if I was a new student Teacher I replied to which he shied down the rest of the walk was silent .In front of the principal’s door we stood when I asked him his name and class and told him how brilliant he was as he had those three batches on his name. Rehan Juneja Commerce 12th. He replied. He thanked me for appreciation and left me with a farewell and a “Hope to meet u soon” . I pushed open the wooden door to find an old age man sitting on the desk and as I hoped by the description Bhaiya gave me.. Good morning miss..come in..Accounts Professor 2nd year post..aren’t u..?? he greeted me as I walked in. I replied in a sincere nod as he studied me with great vigil.
I walked up the steps to reach my class as told to me by a staff teacer This floor was painted a calm green. I looked here and there in search of the class I had to teach in when i stood in front of a door which’s top board read 12th D. I opened the door with an almost soundless creak. Inside was a jumping zoo full of animal like students. only 4 students were in place. Upon seeing me all of them rushed into place and wished me a good morning lazily. What’s so good in this morning I thought. Those 4 didn’t bother to wish me and so I also decided to leave them unnoticed. I decided to not mention my name to that as it would hardly matter and addressing me as Ma’am would be well enough for me. I wrote page 87 on the board and ********** , the book to be followed by them. after 30 minutes of reading and explanations I started to ask them random questions row wise. It was the turn of a boy sitting in the last row . he didn’t stand up . his friends called his name to which he didn’t respond. it was upon shaking that he stood up. I enquired his name to which he replied Neev. I asked the question and he replied to it a semi second. His answer was correct and not only correct but very expressive too. He sat down after begging for apologization the class ended after 45 minutes . and I walked out and headed towards m next class. It was the 5th division when I got free so I headed towards the staff room. I sat down and drank some water. the other teachers were gossiping and checking notebooks. i got bored and stepped out o the staff room without my stuff as I got out I bumped with a student. She fell down and got up instantly apologized and left. I recognized her as one of the 4 students in 12th D or C as I recalled. I saw her walk till the end and bump again with someone else.
I walked out of college by four forty five PM..i left my things at my home and walked back to the rose park..i walked around a bit and sat on the bench again. Thoughtsof despair filled my head again at once. Hecame to my mind again. I closed me eyes and found his light green eyes andperfect face lookingat me . tears rolled down andburned my cheeks.i lightly felt a hand on my shoulder,my imagination was calmingme down I guess. It was not until a few minutes that I realized someone was shakingme. I opened my eyes to find rehan standing beside me. He came and sat on my right side. U are our accounts professor..right ma’am..?? I forgot ur name . I apologise .i had loads of work to --- ^ Anjali I cut him off. Rehandidnt seem much of a lier but a diplomat instead . he didn’t tell me that I didn’t mention my name or he didn’t catch it. Oh yes..right Anjali Ma’am.. he smiled and I started looking forward again. There was a grave silence between us for a few moements Ma’am could u please give me today’s notes ..?? I actually lost them and none of my friends are available to provide me with them. I silently handed him the notes . Well ill see u in school then. Bye Anjali Ma’am . I don’t know what actually crossed my mind that I said Please call me Anjali Rehan..i like it that way.and don’t say bye I hate that word see you is better instead. ^ Yes Ma’am..Ummm Anjali Di..See you he smiled. See you Rehan . I stood up and left
12th D . I stood upon the door once again and as everyday in the past weekeveryone had rushed to place and the 4 non responsive students and been almost cured . Rehan was mostly on the first seat in my period and he would cheerully smile . I never had enoughhappiness to smile but I always looked at him and nodded to tell him I had seen his pleasant smile. By now I learnt few names of the class ,Rehan , Neev ,Kavita , Anya and 8 or 9 more students . Teaching took most of my mind while the periods and it helped to avoid the dark rain clouds that were always on my mind. But the college students their pranks the detention room the field would all remind me of him and his cuteness. The teachers used to hover everytime I came in and think how weird I was to not even pass a smile. I always kept his rose with me . Everyday I would walk to the park ater college to see blooming lowers and sometimes Rehan. He grew fond of me and invited me to his house but I used to refuse everytime.he would gladly accept just like my angel used to but I could see his inside tearingbit by bit by responses.
A night before the 12th F.A a sudden know took charge on my door. I was about to have a sleeping drug intake or sleepiness as obvious as it was by name but I had to leave the pills to answer the door as tha banging grew. I was surprised to find Rehan outside with his textbook.
M sorry Anjali Di , I didn’t want to disturb you at this hour but I have an F.A tomorrow and 3 topics are still unclear . ^ What do u do in the class i asked with a frown , I - - I – I am not able to study properly during the class. His head hung low thus I decided to let this one pass..for now. I seated him inside and got two cup of coffees just like my angel preffered while studying , he opened his textbook and studied for the next two hours. We took a break by 11.00 PM after 1 and half concept was finished and sealed. I took the coffee mugs to refresh them when he asked me a question Anjali Di , Whose picture is that with u , ur looking really good with him..^ My brother I answered Looking at the picture he pointed to. It was meand my love not my brother. But - - - he didn’t complete his sentence for he knew I didn’t want to disclose the personality although I knew that he could well enough differentiate between the gleam of eyes of a boy withhis siter to that of a boy with his Soul mate. A good friend indeed or a book-like friend as my love reffered to any friend who would never ask anything in return.
A night before the 12th F.A a sudden know took charge on my door. I was about to have a sleeping drug intake or sleepiness as obvious as it was by name but I had to leave the pills to answer the door as tha banging grew. I was surprised to find Rehan outside with his textbook.
M sorry Anjali Di , I didn’t want to disturb you at this hour but I have an F.A tomorrow and 3 topics are still unclear . ^ What do u do in the class i asked with a frown , I - - I – I am not able to study properly during the class. His head hung low thus I decided to let this one pass..for now. I seated him inside and got two cup of coffees just like my angel preffered while studying , he opened his textbook and studied for the next two hours. We took a break by 11.00 PM after 1 and half concept was finished and sealed. I took the coffee mugs to refresh them when he asked me a question Anjali Di , Whose picture is that with u , ur looking really good with him..^ My brother I answered Looking at the picture he pointed to. It was meand my love not my brother. But - - - he didn’t complete his sentence for he knew I didn’t want to disclose the personality although I knew that he could well enough differentiate between the gleam of eyes of a boy withhis siter to that of a boy with his Soul mate. A good friend indeed or a book-like friend as my love reffered to any friend who would never ask anything in return.
I threw the coffee mug hard against the wall in anger. Had Rehan spoke another word I would have smashed the hold threshold. He timidly picked up the glass pieces and delivered them to the dustbin. Upon his returning his face was bubbling with words , his mouth didn’t have to speak , his eyes told me everything , he would complain on all his givings and the disappointments I gave him. He started with a little jerk .. I had never seen him as such fuzzy and tempered but I knew it was not his fault . I heated up the matter because he mentioned how I lied to him on every word and that I didn’t smile ever neither did I tell him about the guy of the picture who he could clearly see was my life. Anjali Di..Who do u think I am..just a mere student..no I am not I try so much for u..i can see u have made mistakes in ur life which whizz around ur head but that dosent mean that u will never smile.u always think there is a problem with me that I dnt study in class , well I do have a reason and I do would share it with u someday not like u who would willingly to me. All the students make fun of u .. they say u are a dead zombie who dosent know how to smile. Ur house is so dull and I have seen all the drugs lying in ur house. I don’t demand the reason at immediate but I would like to know why u can move a few muscles for ur stupid friend who smiles like idiots in grave sorrows to see u a bit happy ? ^ Why do I need to smile Rehan..cnt u leave me alone..my life is what I deserve ..u don’t need to poke ur nose into it..who are u to make me smile..?? I realized after a ew seconds what all I had said..the sameexruciating words I said to my love ; my life ..and I knew how hard Rehan tried to make me happy but it wasn’t enough ..i just needed to tell him that but this was too much I think..it took me minutes to clear the dust o thoughts from my mind and by that time Rehan had reached the door. I had once let someone out o my life the same way and I regret it till now..it wasn’t to happen again so I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside..i spoke a word or two of apology when he silently whispered something Its Anya..I cant study because of her..
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